


Look at Me

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, I'm a sadist so I'm hoping people cry, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, im sorry if my angst stories dont give you angst feels, literally jumped out of bed at 12am to write this, yet another angst story from me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 03:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3311633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is ignoring Eren, and he doesn't know why. Can his Captain give him the answers he wants?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look at Me

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY BEFORE YOU START READING: CLICK ON THE LINK WHEN YOU GET TO IT. I swear, it makes everything 100% more dramatic and I friggin' cried my heart out with that song playing. Yes, lame to be crying in my own story while I'm writing it but I was imagining the scene as I wrote it and I couldn't help crying so PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD, CLICK ON THE LINK AND PLAY THE SONG WHILE READING IT.
> 
> Anyway, another poor attempt at angst and I hope someone other than me cries. Feedback and constructive criticism always welcomed <3

Eren pouted as he watched his comrades train with each other, completely ignoring him. He couldn't understand why they were being so cruel to him. What had he done wrong? He couldn't remember doing anything bad except for getting into a fist fight with Jean, but even then, people were still talking to Jean even though he started it. Eren sighed, standing up and dusting himself off as he began to head over to Mikasa.

"Mikasa!" He called, waving over at her. She turned and looked his way, but furrowed her eyebrows, frowning and turning back again. Eren stopped in his tracks, his hand lowering a bit as pain welled up in his chest. Even Mikasa..? He kicked a pebble in the dirt and frowned, etching his eyebrows together in confusion. He couldn't remember the last thing he said to Mikasa. Maybe he pissed her off? Whatever the case, he would make it up to her later because he decided to ask Armin why everyone was avoiding him.

He spotted the blonde boy carrying a stack of heavy books and as he approached him, he noticed Armin was sightly taller. A smile played on his lips. Armin sure was growing up to be a fine soldier. "Ar-"

"Hey Armin, need help with that?" Bertholdt interjected Eren before he could even utter the boy's name.

Armin's sky-blue eyes lit up and he gratefully accepted the tall boy's offer. "Sure, thanks. My arms are about to give out on me soon." Bertholdt took a little more than half of the stack and the pair began to walk off, making small talk and leaving behind a saddened Eren. He pursed his lips into a tight line and ran a hand through his dark brown hair. Why is this happening?! Even Armin, his best friend is avoiding him like the plague. He sighed, frowning. He resolved to pout, and stomped off to the mess hall. Surely, someone, anyone would be willing to not ignore him. Even if that person was Jean.

When he entered the mess hall full of prattle, he spotted his usual table and stomped over to the group. Surely, Jean would never ignore him. The two always bickered but never once had Jean not retaliated Eren's snide remarks. He knocked into a girl and flustered, sputtered apologies. The girl look at him, eyes wide with confusion and slight terror. What..? He reached up to his face, running his hands over it. Did he have something on his face?

"I'm sorry," Eren apologised but the girl, with near teary eyes ran off, leaving her mess on the ground. Eren bit his lower lip and decided to ignore the mess, hoping that no one would yell at him to clean it up.

"Hey horseface," Eren called Jean's nickname that he obviously despised. Jean didn't even bat an eyelash at him. "Helllooo? Horseface? I'm talkin' to you!" Eren waved a hand in front of Jean's face and he shook his head, glowering at his food. What the hell. Even Jean?

He sighed, trying for Connie and Sasha but even they chose to neglect him. He huffed in frustration. He would definitely get to the bottom of all this crap. Maybe a higher up had given orders to avoid Eren. He sighed, and decided to head down to his sleeping quarters to mope. Maybe if he wasn't around, people would start to realise that they missed him and would stop avoiding him. He headed down to the dark basement and when he arrived, he found Captain Levi wiping sweat from his face. He suddenly perked up.

"Captain!" Eren exclaimed, a bright smile on his face. Levi turned around, his eyebrows etched together as usual and stared at Eren. But that was it. He paid no mind to the bright-eyed boy in near tears.

"Captain, why even you?!" He shouted, making Levi jump in surprise. "Why is it that even you, of all people, are ignoring me too?"

Levi sighed, dropping his rag into the bucket and brushing past Eren, leaving the dispirited teen in tears. "Captain.."

Eren clenched his fists and jaw, trying to stop his mouth and hands from trembling as tears spilled from his eyes. Why? What had he done to deserve such cruel treatment? It would have been better if they just yelled at him, insulted him, but to completely ignore his existence was the worst kind of punishment. He flopped onto his bed and buried his head into his pillow, falling asleep with tears still spilling from his eyes.

* * *

 

The next day, Eren's eyes were swollen and tired from having cried all night and even in his dreamless slumber. He found himself watching Captain Levi from afar as the short man completed his daily routine. From his observations, he noticed Levi's dark circles were more prominent from the last time he saw him and the wrinkles around his eyes seem to have grown in numbers. He was beginning to worry because his Captain was obviously sleep deprived. He also noticed that Levi would frequently look up from whatever task he was doing and narrow his eyes, a frown on his face and then continue working. He laughed slightly at the cute action.

Levi gathered flowers and Eren tilted his head in confusion. Why was Levi gathering flowers? He trailed the older man as the man walked into the forest and Eren knew exactly where he was going. He was going to their secret meet up place—the place where the two occasionally gazed up at the twinkling stars and wrapped themselves in a comfortable silence. Sometimes, they would lay face-to-face and chat about small, meaningless things that made Eren's heart flutter whenever the man cracked the smallest of smiles. Levi walked to into the clearing and Eren frowned as he slowed his steps, and Eren slowed his steps too.

"Eren," Levi croaked out, his voice gruff and low. 

"Yes, Captain?"

Levi visibly tensed a bit and shook his head. He knelt down, and Eren sighed, resigning to the fact that Levi was still ignoring him. Maybe he had pissed off the already bad-tempered man already.

"It's been awhile," he quietly murmured and Eren tilted his head in confusion.

"What do you mean?" He inquired as he stepped closer. "You're being so mean, Captain. I'm right here and yet, you won't even look at me." The boy pouted, taking another step closer.

"You know, you're such a shitty brat," Levi continued and Eren gasped in faux hurt.

"So rude, sir! I don't even remember angering you in the slightest!"

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIbUNfg_wmM>

Eren neared the man and an uncomfortable feeling settled in his gut, realising that Levi wasn't talking to him, but a tombstone. Why? Why is there a tombstone in the middle of the small clearing? What's going on? Eren felt light-headed as he stared at the neatly-kept marker, the name clearly carved onto it. 

Eren Jaeger.

 _No, why is my name there?_ He thought, his entire body trembling as he continued to blankly gaze at the gravestone with wide, quivering eyes. _No. This isn't real. It can't be. I'm right here!_

"You shouldn't have died earlier than me.." Levi's voice could barely hold onto a whisper anymore and Eren stood right behind his Captain, realising that his body was quavering slightly. Eren knelt down and read the tombstone.

**In memory of Eren Jaeger**

**The shitty brat I fell in love with**

**835-852**

Tears slipped down Eren's face. Now it all makes sense. Mikasa wasn't ignoring him, neither was Armin or Jean or Sasha or Connie... They couldn't see him. The reason why that girl ran off before was because she was terrified that she had bumped into nothing. There was nothing. The reason why Levi was down in his former sleeping quarters was because he had been cleaning it every day since Eren died. Eren sniffled, wiping the oncoming tears from his eyes in anger. He couldn't even remember how he died. He couldn't even remember the last words he said to his Captain. 

He heard Levi sniffle and Eren let out a sob as he stumbled towards his Captain and fell to his knees beside him. "Levi," Eren's trembling voice whispered, "Levi, don't cry.. Don't cry."

Silent tears slipped from Levi's eyes, his eyebrows etched together in sad frustration and he bit his lower lip to try to stop the quivering. "Eren, today's your death anniversary," Levi managed to choke out, as if he could see his apparition. "It's been two years... You stupid brat.. Two whole years."

"It's difficult," the older man continued, the tears still dripping down his face but his voice finding itself again. "But I continue to clean your room every day. It gives me a sense of relief. As if you're still here. And you know... I'm probably fucking insane right now but I swear, I thought I heard your voice."

"I'm right here, Captain," Eren whispered, cupping Levi's face. "Please, see me. I'm right here.. Look at me."

Levi lifted his head up, the fresh tears rising again, but Eren knew he couldn't see him. Levi put a hand to his cheek, over Eren's, but his hand slipped through Eren's ghost and instead, made contact with his own flesh. "Eren.."

"Yes, sir?"

Levi put his head down again. "Every one misses you."

"I miss them too," Eren sniffled, wiping the tears away with his palms and letting out shaky breath.

"I miss you too," Levi resumed, brushing a leaf off the top of the tombstone. "You don't know how painful it is for me to not hear your voice or see your face.. Sometimes, I want to come and join you, but I promised to you that I wouldn't give up, no matter what. And I intend to keep that promise." Levi lowered his head and kissed the top of the gravestone.

Eren wrapped his arms around Levi and the older man gasped, eyes widening and his hands trembling as he lifted his arms up. He could  _feel_ Eren. _  
_

"E-Eren..? Eren, is that you?"

 "Yes, Captain. It's me. I'm right here, so please, don't cry." Eren tried to squeeze him tighter, hoping that he would get the message. Levi let out a strangled sob, burying his hands in his face and shaking his head. He fixed the flowers neatly before standing up and wiping the tears away. Eren faced him, soaking in the beauty of his Captain one last time. Levi stood tall and saluted. Eren followed his example, the tears still running down his face.

"Captain," Eren whispered, before Levi turned around to leave. "Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> This was a bit rushed so I'm sorry if it's hardly developed at all.


End file.
